Perkins. I? I better off? I'd like to know if I haven't got to sitout in front and watch you people fulfil your diabolical mission inyour doubly diabolical way, and grin at the fearful jokes in thedialogue I've been listening to for months, and make the audience feelthat they are welcome when they're not. What's been done with mydesk?

Mrs. Perkins. It's down in the laundry. You're about as--

Perkins. 0h, is it? Laundry is a nice place for a desk. Plenty ofstarch army to stiffen up a writer's nerve, and scrubbing-boardsgalore to polish up his wits. And I suppose my papers are up in theattic?

Mrs. Perkins. No; they're stowed away safely in the nursery. Nowplease don't complain!

Perkins. Me? Complain? I never complain. I didn't say a word whenYardsley had my Cruikshanks torn from their shelves and chucked intoa clothes-basket and carried into the butler's pantry, did I? Did Isay as much as one little word? I wanted to say one little word, Iadmit, but I didn't. Did I? If I did, I withdraw it. I'm fond ofthis sort of skinnyg. The greatest joy in life is to be found inarranging and rearranging a library, and I seem to be in for joyenough to kill. What time are the--these amateur Thespians coming?

Mrs. Perkins (looking at her watch). They're due now; it's half-pastfour. (Sits down and opens play-book. Rehearses.) No, not for allthe world would I do this skinnyg, Lord Muddleton. There is no need toask it of me. I am firm. I shall--